Help me please i start cutting summer?

hi every sorry 4 the bad spelling in here i have a disability okay so so so this is y i start cutting i am a every sweet girl every1 call me sweet heart baby girl honey pie cute pie i get bullied i am in high school it already i have told my mom that i cutting i lie a lot okay so i was almost raped in the 3 grade by 3 guys and a girl they say since i scream they are going 2 tell people i wanted or i made them i hate my life so bad i have try so hard 2 get help but no1 here me out i have big dreams i wont 2 be a singer/actress i made my chours audition i am a 10 grade i don't have perfect teeth my friends and family pay no attention 2 me if they were my friends they will text me or call i only had 1 friend that ask me 2 hang out my mom yells at me all of the time about my weight so i kind of stop eating i have lost a lot of weight but then start last week i have start eating healthy things i like i live in a small Town and i cant tell any1 that i start cutting only once i have been call still do ugly stup rearward i have people tell me i cant stand that i feel like i am not pretty like some girls every girl i c i wish i look like them i feel so worthless i have been so so so so so sick every day that it make me cry so hard i feel like i wont 2 kill my self late just say i have there this miced i have 2 take 2 help me in school i took there of them when my mom yell at me about my weight teeth i have teachers tell me that i would be anything that i am i think my family is race they sometimes hate colors people and gay i would never hate them it dose not matter what color who are 2 me if you are my friends then you are my friend it make me sad that they lie 2 me about being not races i would never be like i am not being selfish or anything but i have these 2 cousin that are little and there mom and dad who are my cousin are drug people and every 1 pay more love them more they barley say they love me 2 me now i love my mom 2 my cousin every much and they love me i just feel like i don't have anything 2 live 4 i have this 1 teacher that would not even lat me go 2 concealer i got in this camp call dragonfly frost i was a teen leader ship last year they made me feel so alive love that i am going 2 be a camp concealer this summers they say i did better then the real concealer and that i love this camp i get pay next year when i turn 18teen next and but i still feel like cutting i cant tell my mom because she think i am being sick 4 attention and i am not it just the cutting and not eating i hate my life so so so so bad i feel like overdosing on pain killers but 2 scary 2 i think about wright or start a band i list 2 music when i am upset i love love love pink perfect katey prerry firework lady agaga baby born this way Selena Gomez who say Justin Beiber pary Black eyes where is the love Christan Agular Beaitful i love 2 list and Evansence every body fool bring me back 2 live there was this 1 guy back in the 9 grade i thought that like and he say i was a joke so i start cutting my mom dose not know and she hate and i hate my life i say that 2 times please don't say i am craze or weird or emo i have frackless all over my face i am short i wish i had a boyfriend but i know i would not but i keep hope and wishing i hen other people around i do help them so how can i tell my mom that i cutting please help me thank you evey1 xxxxxx huges i love Huge :) i have overdose i am just lucky 2 be a live oh i have stand up 2 the bullied i told them get a life